


Saying Goodbye

by Fancyfauns



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I haven't written in ages, Smoking, much less posted anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 03:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16823854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancyfauns/pseuds/Fancyfauns
Summary: Rosalie stops by to give a life update, and say goodbye to her late husband.





	Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written any fanfic in forever, and this is my first one posted on AO3, and I'm super rusty, but I hope you enjoy it. I have some more written for a longer work, but I'm not sure when I'll be getting that done enough to post. This is just a little snippet I did based off a prompt I found on tumblr (which of course I can't remember/didn't save) so it's just kind of in the middle. Rosalie is my SS who is with Hancock, and hopefully I'll be sharing their story soon.
> 
> I'm kinda nervous to share this, but here goes!
> 
> ALSO I have practically no idea about tagging so if there is a tag that should be added please let me know so I can add it! Thank you!!

Rosalie took a long drag of her cigarette, the orange glow briefly illuminating her face in the dark evening, the lights of Sanctuary dim in the distance. She was back up on the hill behind the neighborhood, back where she and Nate had fled into Vault 111 when the bombs had dropped, Nate holding a crying infant Shaun in his arms. The vault was closed, and Rosalie was standing over by one of the nearby trees, staring solemnly at the small stack of large stones and still-fresh earth that had been dug up then replaced. The cigarette lit up her face for a moment, then disappeared, and she flicked the ashes aside.

“Hey Nate, sorry I haven’t visited yet.” she spoke softly, feeling a little embarrassed. “It’s been, uh, been pretty busy around here lately. I’m glad Preston has been hanging around to help out, looks like he’s been doing a good job while I’ve been away.”

Earlier in the week, Rosalie had pulled Preston aside for a small request. Nate had been left in the vault, and Rosalie needed some closure. Preston was a really great guy, and he was glad to handle the small burial for Rosalie. She felt guilty, since she should rightfully be the one to bury her own husband, but she just couldn’t bring herself to go back down into that tomb to retrieve him. Being a General was hard work, but certainly had it’s perks. It seemed a little odd having Nate at rest so close to the place of his death, but Rosalie had asked that he be buried on the hilltop, looking out over the horizon.

She stubbed out the finished cigarette under her boot, then sat down on the dirt, pulling her legs up to her chest. “I think you’d like Preston, he’s a military man, like you. Well, if the Minutemen count, I guess...” she picked absently at a loose thread on her shirt. “I’m the General of them, by the way. The Minutemen. I really didn’t know much of what I was doing at the start- I still don’t, really- but we’ve got settlements that we’re recruiting and helping out, and we even got the Castle back. Fort Independence, remember that? It was real tough, and I had to rest for a few week or so afterward, but now we got a radio tower up and running and it’s really helping out.”

The fight to take back the Castle had been quite the battle, and Rosalie had been scared to death at the time. One of the mirelurks and gotten one of it’s claws around her leg and snapped it, though thankfully they had found out later it was a minor fracture. Still, it was terrible having to sit and wait around for it to heal, despite the use of Med-X and Stimpaks. It had cost her a lot of time, time that she had wanted to use to find her son quicker. Still, even with that setback...

“I- I uh, found Shaun, by the way.” she said, her voice catching in her throat. Rosalie coughed to clear it. “You’ll never guess where he was; in the Institute, right under the old CIT building. Oh and guess what else? He was the director, can you believe it?” she gave a forced laugh, and tear slipped out down her cheek. It was quickly brushed aside. “Our little boy became the leader of an underground community of crazy super geniuses. I guess I shouldn’t say little, though, turns out he was sixty years old! I completely missed him growing up...”

She fell silent then, letting a few more tears slip out. She then scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hands, and pulled out another cigarette to light. The evening air was still and cool, and in the silence she could faintly hear the sounds of the other settlers carrying over. All those people she had helped, but the one that had mattered the most, she couldn’t.

The burning end of her cigarette pulsed bright five times before she spoke again, her voice hard now.

“He became an absolute monster, Nate,” Rosalie said through gritted teeth. “Those scientists stole our boy, and twisted him into some kind of cold, heartless, evil bastard. I tried to help him- really- tried to make him see that he didn’t know everything about life up here. I tried to show him all the good we were doing, all the people we were helping, but it just meant nothing to him. It hurt so bad, Nate. It hurt to think that this cruel old man that stood in front of me was my little boy.”

Rosalie stood to her feet, taking another drag of smoke. It wasn’t helping her calm down, she’d need something stronger. The anger was bubbling up inside her now, and she paced by the square of dirt.

“I even spent time with him there, helped him with his little errands and projects, hoping that maybe I could change his mind or get one of his precious scientists to see reason and speak some sense into him, but nothing worked! He just kept talking about making me his successor and this grand plan of his to essentially annihilate everyone up here.” her voice was steadily rising now, the dirt and gravel at her feet scattering with her frantic pacing. “And you know, after everything I learned about him, about the Synths that were enslaved by them all, and the people he had replaced with them, and his absolute lack of compassion and inability to see beyond his little underground paradise, I still loved him.”

Rosalie broke into a sob then, stopping her pacing to stand and stare out over the cliff, the tears clouding her vision. 

“I still loved him, and wanted to save him, but I also hated him. What kind of mother hates her own child? I do, it seems, and you wanna know what else? I don’t even feel bad for it. I hated him, and when I found out he was dying of cancer, and that I would lose him all over again, I still hated him!”

It had been like a knife in her gut, that news that her son that she had looked for for so long was now leaving her all over again. Shaun had been toying with her, leading her along a wild chase to find him, and when she finally had, he just sent her to work on different projects, told her she’d be taking over for him, and had felt no remorse whatsoever for what happened to Nate. He was a cold, emotionless being, and Rosalie hated to admit that she was a little glad the world wouldn’t have him in it any longer.

“I just... I had fought my way through so much to get to him, and almost died, and killed people- so many people Nate, so many that I can barely sleep at night.” her voice was barely a whisper now, and she was back sitting on the ground with her knees to her chest. “I did all that for him... and it meant nothing, nothing at all. Later on, I helped organize a revolt for the Synths with the... the Railroad, and in the process, more people died. I had to go unlock the doors, or something, I’ve forgotten, and I saw Shaun. He was lying there, Nate, just lying there waiting for me to blow them all up. I asked for his help, begged him to help me save more lives, and you know what? He wouldn’t. Can you believe that? He’d rather let his own people die than give up his pride. I was still able to get an alarm sounded and give whatever scientists were left a chance, but I left Shaun. I left him to die in that blast, and I don’t regret it at all.”

Her fingers were trembling as she finished the cigarette, and quietly stubbed it out in the dirt. Sometimes, when she was able to fall into a deep enough sleep, she would find herself back in that room, Shaun watching her with hate-filled eyes as they both went up in the blast that destroyed the Institute. Those nights always ended with her waking with scream, her hair plastered to her face, damp with sweat. Some nights it would be Dogmeat who would comfort her, curling up with her in bed and licking her hand, and some nights it would be Hancock, who would just hold her and let her cry it out, maybe even give her something to take the edge off until she could fall back asleep.

Sometimes, her nightmares would bring the other Shaun towards her room, looking for a way to comfort his ‘mother’.

Rosalie was still unsure about her decision to bring the synth child with her; it was a shock to find him there by the transporter as they were fleeing, and she was still unnerved by the young face of her now-dead son. It was still hard to even look at him sometimes, but she was trying. It wasn’t this Shaun’s fault that she was so messed up from all of this. She was given a second chance, and she was trying to make it good, but it would take some time.

The sound of footsteps brought Rosalie out of her thoughts. She scrubbed at her face with her hands, pushed her hair back from her face, and stood to see Dogmeat trotting over, and Shaun hanging back a few steps.

“Hey Mom... are you okay?” he asked, looking at her with his big dark eyes. She gave him a small smile.

“Yeah bud, just talking to your dad.” she glanced at her Pip-Boy, the clock on it reading 11:47PM. “What are you doing up so late?”

Shaun smiled sheepishly. “Sturges was letting me help him fix the water purifier. It took a little longer than he thought, then Mr. Hancock asked me to come check on you.”

Good ol’ John, always looking out for her.

“Mmm, okay then. Well I’m ready to go now, we better get you into bed. Go on with Dogmeat, I’ll be there in a second.” Rosalie reached out and ruffled Shaun’s dark hair, and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. 

“Okay Mom, I love you!” The small synth boy smiled, and made his way back down with the German Sheppard at his heels. Rosalie waved after the pair, and turned back to the small grave.

“Thanks for listening. I’m sorry we weren’t able to work things out more between us before... well, you know. I’ll try to come by some more, and... just do better, in general.” She stepped forward and laid a hand on the top stone, feeling the cool and smooth texture beneath her hand.

“Sorry again, Nate, for everything. Goodbye.”


End file.
